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This is a tricky one. I always check with the celebrant of the ceremony and ask the bride and groom, wayyyyy, before the wedding day, to speak with the person conducting the ceremony regarding guidlines, rules, traditions, etc. When the feedback comes from the bride and groom on that I work with them for a plan that is suitable to everyone. The bride, sometimes, doesn't mind all the action, attention from my camera lens. Many brides I met actually love it. It's their day and they want THE photo and the energy that comes from a photographer around. So at the end of the day I let the couple decide what they want and I tailor my style and technique accordingly. I do whatever it takes to get what the couple wants, not what the pastor wants. Some pastors thinks that the ceremony is about them as well and the less movements there are the Holier the ceremony or they are. Not necessarily. I've photographed religious events, including ordination of priests (which are like weddings and more serious) and the whole atmosphere was energy, movements and dancing. No one noticed or felt distracted by the photographer. I've photographed wedding from way back on the side of the church (requet of the priest). I was no where in sight and the whole ceremony was dull as hell. The audio system in the church was awfull, you can hardly hear it, the church was too dark, the aircondition didn't work, if there was one, everyone was sweating like hell. So many distraction and no photographer in sight. So I think it requires clear communication between the couple, the photographer and the celebrant of the ceremony to try their best to make it a happy occasion. I don't think there is a "way" to do it. It depends on the people involved.